Goodbye, Grandpa

You may have noticed that my blog has been ignored more as of late. About two weeks ago I got a surprise visit from my sister. I had been outside working and it turned out Dad (and several) others had been trying to get a hold of me. I don't generally carry my phone with me when I am outside working, and it was dead on top of that, so no one was getting through. He called Num, she came out to let me know. What was up? Grandpa H had been taken to the hospital. He was having some trouble breathing, and was running a fever. Nothing we hadn't been through before, and no one I talked to made it sound too serious. They just wanted to see what was up. So I loaded up the kids and headed into town. I got my phone back on to see there was a call from the nursing home just letting me know he was headed into Mercy. There was another call from the hospital asking if family was coming in-kind of odd since they had never called before. I called them back to let them know I was coming and see if Grandpa H was doing okay. The man I spoke with said just to head on up. So I got to the hospital and walked into emergency. I stated I was there to see Grandpa H, and immediately a man in a suit, obviously waiting by the door for someone, jumped up and said he would escort us back. Okay. That's odd, too. So I followed him, still thinking he was just a nice employee. Instead of heading to Grandpa H's room, though, we were taken to the "quiet room", which from prior experiences, I knew was not good news. Even worse, they brought in the child life specialists to play with the kids while they talked to me. I was expecting to hear he wasn't doing well. Instead they uttered words that keep replaying in my mind as ones I was not in any way prepared to hear..."we did everything we could." Um, what? The poor doctor looked pretty shaken as it was, and I was stunned and needed to be explained to situation several times. Basically, Grandpa H was gone before he ever left the nursing home (though they DID NOT make it sound like that at all at the nursing home, which kind of peeved me). He was having trouble breathing, they put him on O2 and called am ambulance. By the time the ambulance was there his heart had stopped. They resuscitated him as best they could, giving compressions and intubating him on the way to the hospital. When he got there he was gone, but they reintubated him just to give it one final go, but he was not there. Though I have not heard any final statement, my guess is it was a heart attack/cardiac arrest. And his body was in no condition to fight off anything. I am happy for him, as his life quality was awful. We are sad, yet relieved to know he is in such a better place than where he has been. And that it went quickly. His funeral arrangements were tense as I had to deal with his other son, but things went off pretty well. I am dreading the reading of the will, as it won't go as the other brother wants it to, but in the end I can finally be completely done with that man, and Grandpa H is no longer suffering. Pony Gal has taken it well, especially when we explained it that he was with Grandpa J and Jesus. That made it okay. She knew he was very sick and not very happy. We will miss him, and have been rather nostalgic the last couple weeks, but such a heavy burden has been lifted, and I know he is happier.

What is Family?

With the advent of certain family members getting annoying again, I have once again been thinking about what real family is. I have to be honest, I consider more of my friends as family, and would be more likely to pull out all the stops to help them in a crisis than much of the blood relation (and unfortunately married) I have. I find that unfortunate, too. My siblings I get along with fine (for the most part), and I don't have any issue with the way they live their life and relate to me and my family. Some of my "married" family, though, are a different story. I am not someone who enjoys being angry and holding grudges. I believe in forgiveness. I do not believe in stupidity, though. I think that letting my family be exposed to the kind of people certain relatives are is just stupid. The way my dad kept us from certain relatives of his makes so much sense now, though as a kid I didn't fully understand. And, unfortunately, it was over much of the same nonsense-namely money. I believe more in a system of barter and forgiveness, others believe that whatever gets you the most money fastest is the best approach. I just get so frustrated with the fact that every few weeks some pitiful thing pops up that one person in particular decides to make a mountain out of and start the same issues up again. I try to take the high road and avoid the situation, but then they find it necessary to bring in unaffiliated parties, twist stories and leave me on the defense again, instead of just ignoring what should be ignored. Hmmm.
Family is such a fickle thing. I would do anything for those I love.

Hrumph

Did I miss a memo in which you cannot use valet parking more than once a day at Mercy? I took Papa H in this morning, and he, as usual, is in no condition to be walking far, and the east tower lot was totally full, as usual, so I pulled up to valet so I could walk with him, and the three kids. The guy was nice enough then. When I showed up to get my vehicle after being upstairs just long enough to get Papa H settled into his evaluation, maybe 25 minutes, I came back down. And Mr Valet was kind of snarky, but I figured oh well, and took off to drop my charge for the day at preschool and go to my chiro appt. Papa H's test was supposed to take four hours, so I had plenty of time to waste, but then got a call that they were finished after less than two (not a good sign for him, mind you). So I headed back to get him, and once again there was no where to park, and I had to haul two kids in and Papa H back out. So I pulled back up to valet, where Mr Valet proceeded to lecture me on the apparent rules of valet parking, and how it wasn't a game, that there were only so many spaces and I couldn't just leave and come back whenever I wanted. Um, what? I would think that my leaving opened up spaces for others, rather then hanging out at the hospital the whole time when others could have been using that space. So I said whatever I will just go park in the ramp and walk over, to which he was oh, no, just you can't be coming back and forth and there are only so many spaces, and yadda, yadda. So, I left my van with him, and went inside for Papa H. It took very little time to get him, which I knew would only excite Mr Valet, so I came back down only to see he had not parked my car yet-no prob I needed it right away, but I am pretty sure I *really* made him angry with my next move. See, he had just left my keys sitting int he front seat of my unlocked van while he went to move another car. Okay, fine he had to get another car before he parked mine-I am totally okay with this, but,uh, leaving my unlocked van with the keys sitting in the front seat, unmonitored? Not okay. I proved just how dumb this move was as I proceeded to load the kids into their car seats and buckle Papa H in, then take off, all well before he even knew I was there. So I essentially stole my minivan back from Mr Rude Valet Man. And I will be calling the hospital to talk with a manager about the very poor service. If anyone needs valet, its Papa H, and reprimanding me for something out of my control, namely the length of Papa H's appointments, is just ridiculous. I am guessing the guy was just busy and didn't care to have to actually work. I have done similar things with the front lobby valet and they are always incredibly nice, even when I inform them I will only be about 15-20 minutes depending on what or who we are seeing for Papa H.  I was waiting to be pulled over for stealing a van while I was in town, because I am pretty sure as Mr Rude Valet Man noticed the minivan he left unprotected drive away he was trying to get the license plates. I really am a good person-and it is my van, but seriously!

Eew

So, I noticed about a week ago that there was an odd vinegar smell coming from the freezer/storage room in the basement. I wrote it off as I spilled something getting in there while getting baby clothes out for a friend. Today I went down to grab the last chicken from last year's butcher to have for dinner tonight only to open the door of my father in law's freezer and find, ug. Well, let's just say I am surprised the vultures were not circling the house. Somehow the freezer door was either left open or the thing has shot craps. I shut it up tight in hopes it all may freeze again to make it easier to clean out, then will go about doing so. We only lost that one chicken and a couple boxes of pot stickers. Grandpa H, who was not coming back home anyway, lost quite a bit, and it made a big mess. We were going to clean it out and shut it off anyway with him here no longer, but in a little less messy manner. He had two very large bags of frozen blackberries that thawed and have made a puddle in the bottom of the thing. Luckily it all seems to be contained in the freezer, and not on the floor, but I so was not up for any huge gross cleaning tasks beyond the huge cleaning tasks he had already left me downstairs. Because I do not already have enough to do...

Grrr...In Laws

So, this week I have enjoyed being accused of taking money from Papa H by another family member. This is not the case, yet this member thinks so. He is afraid his inheritance is leaking away with Papa H's recent move to the nursing home. It bothers me that I am related to someone who can act so greedy. Unfortunately, we pick our spouses, but not their families. In the meantime, with Papa H's move to the nursing home a few things have changed around here, most notably the TV situation. Papa H insisted on Dish Network, which he paid for since it was his thing. I think paying for TV is crazy if you have other places the money is more needed, and thus we let Papa H pay for it while here, but now that he is gone we are going back to plain on free TV. This has been more of a hassle than we thought. It has taken going to town four times to get an antenna that will pick up a signal out here. I almost considered making the space in the budget to keep Dish. We are hoping the antenna Dad is currently in the attic attempting to install will work. TV wouldn't be a huge deal, but I like weather and current events, Pony Gal watches some educational shows and I just feel out of the loop out here without it-even with internet. In the meantime, no TV has been a blessing as well, as suddenly the kids realize there are other things to do in the house, and it has given me a reason to whip out the Christmas music. Yippee!

Doctor woes

So, up until yesterday I was rather fond of our pediatrician. But, Superboy's one year checkup yesterday changed my mind, and I will be looking for someone different. That man questioned just about everything but Superboy's actual development. It started with his weight. He hasn't been gaining as quickly as he was. Um, anyone who has seen my son knows he is in constant motion. He doesn't look or act hungry. His height keeps going. The doc insisted that there were vitamin supplements what would help, just in case we have a problem later, and said that like he knew there would be. Ug. Then he made a comment about how it looked like I was having troubles getting him off the breast. Did I say I wanted him off? Should he be off? Can ya show me where that is necessary? His father was "on the breast" until he was 3. Uh huh. Then he insisted on writing me a script for silvadene cream, "just in case" the two little sores on Superboy's unmentionables didn't heal. The ones I told him he had just gotten because we went too long between diaper changes while his Grandpa was getting through all the nursing home business. And that they always clear up within like a week. He doesn't get rashes. He gets spotty sores. He doesn't even act like he knows they're there. Then there was the vax schedule. Superboy got his first vax yesterday, his dtap, because we live in the country, we have livestock, my son is obsessed with being outside-its just the smart way to go there. I don't intend for him to get any others unless some massive epidemic breaks out. If I decide to get pregnant again, I'll get retested for rubella and I can get the vax if I need it. My kids don't need to get them, otherwise. Doc insists that maybe if this shot goes well we can give Superboy a couple at the next visit to start to catch him up. Did I say I wanted to catch him up? On top of that, Pony Gal was wound up and the calls about Grandpa H's situation and acting like a crazy person were rolling in on top of each other so I was in a pretty bad mood on the way out. All I have to say is grrrr.

The end of a lot of work (but still a lot to do)

So, it was decided this week that Papa H would Abe permanently in the nursing home. The doctors also have enacted his power of attorneys meaning Dad and I are officially responsible for everything Papa H. Knowing he is being taken care of by someone else has lifted such a burden off my shoulders. I still have duties to maintain for him, like getting him to different off campus appointments and making sure he has what he needs there, but it is so much easier than being his constant nurse. It also means I have gained the basement. The house is now entirely ours. I need to purchase rubbermaid bins to store Papa H's items-most of which he no longer can or will use and were going to be stored anyway, but there are a few things that will need to be discarded. There is actually a lot of work right there, but I will enjoy being home more. Once we get his VA benefits enacted and several follow up appointments from his hospital stay made up then most of his doctor related business will happen right there at the home, so I have only a little transport duty left. My children already have started acting differently-we all were so bogged down with his care. Constantly in the car taking him somewhere, downstairs with meds, cleaning, checking on him. Now we can get back to our lives and that may sound selfish, but they never signed up for this. Pony Gal has been doing school everyday, with her initializing it each time. I can get back to sorting and reorganizing our stuff as well as home duties, making bread and granola bars from scratch. I made a meal plan that I intend to adhere to as best I can. We can make plans. It is one of those bittersweet moments where it is sad to see someone who only a year or two ago had so much life to decline to such a childlike state. We will see what tomorrow brings for him, but with the way things are going now it does not seem like he will likely last very many more years. In the meantime we will continue to do what we can to make sure he is comfortable and well cared for.

Day one

Today is the first day of my life as Nurse Abby. So far, pretty good. Papa H has been a good sport as I am constantly giving directions on how to take his new insulin, and as I try repeatedly to get the little sticker thingy to work to read his blood glucose. I actually thought of becoming a nurse (one of my many incarnations in my head), but decided (rather smartly) that I just didn't do vomit or poo very well. Still don't, unless it's my kids. (OT-sorry about the awful grammar and typos in the previous post-I was rushed and wasn't able to spell check). Anyway, I think we can swing this. I just am not able to make it to do as many things. I am going to try to make it to the diaper crowd sale in September, but other than that, will probably be home unless it is during Papa H's dialysis so I can be on hand for meds and blood checks. Apparently certain family is also convinced all of Papa H's current problems are my fault. Nice. I asked Papa H what he thought and he refuted it to the point that we are changing his power of attorney for both health and general to Dad and I. That will definitely make my job easier. It is causing a bit of a ruckus among the brothers, but  my sister in law and I talked this morning and decided that her husband is overreacting. It shouldn't come to a feud, but he is so worried that his inheritance is flying out the window that he is getting just a little hostile.

Yes, yes I am still here

Just busy as ever. Papa H went back to the hospital after being home only briefly. We think it may be blood sugar issues, and have plans to check it for him a couple times a day, plus trying a different insulin. Because I don't have enough to do...but we'd like to keep him kicking to at least 65 (he's 62) so I am willing to try to fit it in. It shouldn't be too much more work, as I am already down there to deliver at least one meal a day. The frustrating thing about this time around is that dialysis should have caught this, and they didn't. They didn't even help when I asked for direction. In the meantime, more drama is most likely popping up surrounding Papa H and his illness as his other son, who is currently his legal power of attorney should something happen, is starting to get antsy. This puts us in a tough position since technically the house is still in Papa H's name. He could do whatever he wanted, like, oh, kick us out, should Papa H be deemed unable to make decisions for himself. This has not happened yet, but apparently certain people are making 'plans'. Dad and I have talked with Papa H, and apparently we need to get his wishes down on paper, because if not, I have a feeling there will be major arguments later. I mentioned the possibility of a nursing home-in the future if it gets to the point where Papa H cannot do anything anymore-and some family freaked and started talking about money that was spent while Papa H's mother was in a home. It shouldn't matter. Papa H has the money, but his health is most important, anyhow. We didn't think that it would be an issue, but it is funny how people change when put in this position.

Can't get a break

So, I have managed to accidentally kill off a good portion of the newest chicks we had (which resulted in my reordering), Papa H is at least temporarily in a nursing home and my grandfather fell the day before yesterday, resulting in his now being in the ICU.
Then, my mom called this morning to say she felt the need to get up at 2 am and then again at 5 am and pray for my kids. So I am on high alert-freak-out mode, have tons of farm work to get done, but pretty much am paranoid about what leaving Pony Gal alone, or using the mower or just driving somewhere may entail. Nice. And, I can't get over it. My mommy instincts kick in so hard I just end up staying home, inside all day. I might get housework caught up, but as for work, not so much. My mom did say she would come over tonight so I can get some done (she was over last night as well), so hopefully that will help.
Oh, and my back has hurt so badly that I can barely pick Superboy up. The chiro really isn't helping any. I think we are going to be taking out a loan to purchase a bed (I hate borrowing money) because apparently Dad's back has been killing him as well, and we hadn't had issues until we switched to a king mattress, which we traded my mom for. I need to be able to pick my kids up and work. So, more money out the window. This on top of $400 for brakes for the van (and we get free labor and parts at cost because of hubby), $300 for braking system for jeep/trailer for vacation, $200 for drive shaft for jeep. And they both need fluid changes. Grrrr.

So where in the world is Carmen SanDie..

..err, Momma?
Still here. Papa H is still in the hospital. We are currently looking at moving him to assisted care until he completes from rehab from his illness and rib injuries.
In the meantime, I run to the hospital frequently, while still trying to maintain some sort of sanity at the house, and run a business. Fu-un.
We are doing well, though. The kids and I have had an awesome week that has involved new haircut and color for me (I needed some help de-frumpifying. Thanks to Jen at Sahar's Jordan Creek Salon), friends galore as we made the farm drop off on Thursday we got to play with Wally and Sarah, Friday we made jam, and Pony Gal and a friend got covered with mud from head to toe exploring the world of a chicken while we moms watched on and talked (and talked, and talked), and today I had a mini workshop for farm members on baby food. Only one member showed up, but Jen, I totally enjoyed the morning! We talked quite a lot and she got to see the farm for the first time. I hope I didn't yammer too much.
I wasn't sure how I would conduct the workshop, but was pretty laid back since it was only her and me. I tend to drift back and forth when I get on the subject of food and nutrition. I am passionate about it. I love to talk about it. I know a lot about it. It sometimes makes me hard to follow, I think, but I just want to let people know what I know so they can improve their situations. As I have mentioned before, even if I weren't paid to do this, I think I still would, because I can make a positive impact on others' lives. Plus, seeing two adorable little girls in mud puddles while chatting with iced teas in hand makes anything worth doing. Or knowing that a family is eating super healthy and that possibly you are aiding in a child avoiding serious illness as an adult simply through mom and dad insisting on whole, chemical free foods instead of falling prey to convenience and packaging.
I also enjoyed the jam making as I got to spend a little time with my mother in law who came out to aid. She had never made jam or canned much so was excited at the invitation, and a wonderful helper. I used to do it all the time, but it gets difficult to do when there are kids involved. Timing is very important in food storage, and when you have to run here or there to aid or feed, then you run the risk of ruining the whole shebang.
Anyhow, doing well. Someday I will post pictures.

Papa H Woes

Friday morning I got to call an ambulance for Papa H. His bag dialysis was not working. Apparently the dialysis center had fiddle faddled around with getting him scheduled to start hemodialysis again, since the bag was not working, and this nearly put him into septic shock, as his body was way out of whack. We got to the hospital and his blood sugar was over 1000-and we had been doing his insulin injections like he should. His bp was over 200/120 and he had been puking nastiness for days. I was in emergency waiting for 12 hours as they assessed, and finally moved him to the ICU. His nurse today was about worthless as far as information, but, from what I could tell, he will be there a couple days, then in a normal room at the hospital for several more.

Working together, in all kinds of weather

So yesterday wasn't all kinds of weather. In fact it was just about perfect for the task at hand-cleaning out the chicken coop. I had to do this all by myself when I was younger. And usually in the heat of summer when it was so stinky. As an adult I can choose when to do this. Unfortunately my father in law taking over chicken duty while I was on bed rest and these first few months with Superboy has not been a great thing. He kept them alive, and they were content enough to lay some eggs, but that coop. I was so grossed out. I am glad Superboy has started laying down for a nap for a couple hours day so I have time to get down there and do it myself again. We have totally different standards. First thing we noticed (besides the very worn out straw) was that we opened the side door and out popped several hopping field mice. I never remember mice in my coop growing up. This was because the roosters kept them out by killing them. My husband started stomping them which totally grossed me out. I was reluctant to join in until we just couldn't stop stirring them up. I really didn't want them in there once we were done. This wouldn't have been an issue had the coop been properly maintained-the way I would have done it. It took us three hours to do what should have taken maybe an hour, because so much wasted feed (read overloading containers so you don't have to go down everyday,grrr) and water had mixed to make a near cement and someone thought he knew more than me and laid down ground of corncobs under the straw-also near cement. So we shoveled, scraped, raked and swept until it was as clean as it was going to get. Part of the problem was that some of it was still frozen. But, doing this job now meant that it was just about the right temp for it to not stink, and we weren't dying of heat exhaustion in the process. We are both pretty sore. We threw all the old bedding into the run so that it would be less muddy as the ground thawed. We are a free range facility, and when there is green grass on the ground we take this to the fullest extent by letting them go wherever they please in the yard, but during the winter they only get the run. This is the safest place for them, as coyotes and raccoons get awfully brave when they get hungry during the winter, and as my mom can attest from last weekend, can take out an entire coop of chickens in one night. That is also the reason we keep around our beagle who doesn't really live at our house anymore. She gets around enough and still keeps an eye on our house from across the street. That's another story. We have happy, happy birds now. Fresh straw, re designed coop, reduced mud exposure...add a little spring sunshine and heat and we are sitting pretty. And on top of it all, my husband and I worked side by side all afternoon, and loved it. We joked around and talked and just got enjoyment out of being with each other. I think it was also nice that there were no kids to worry about since my mom was up in the house with them. We did have to endure the ogre for a little bit, but he gave up once he saw what a mess he had created (though he still didn't admit to the problem). Not to fear, you egg buyers out there-I am back in charge. No more ickies. I am pretty picky about how my girls live. Speaking of girls living-we have boys to get rid of soon. The first round of the year. There will likely be one to two more, as the chicks come of age later. These were roosters who matured late, thus looked like hens when we took in our first batch last year. Ah, and the ducks are laying eggs now. Granted ducks are not as prolific layers, and we only ended up with 4 females in a straight run of 15 Rouen, but we get a nice large white or blue egg about every other to every day. I get so excited at the smallest thing. It's the pure bred farm girl in me. Despite the work involved, I love it. Wouldn't trade it for the world. And the happy clucks and quacks make it all worth it-both from my birds and my customers, lol.

Finances

This area of our life has always been a battle. I don't know why, but we have such issues keeping up here. Actually, I do know why. It involves my husband's lack of knowing when to stop and not making me feel guilty as heck because I told him no. I know his mother and step father were frugal, and that they way they spent money was more like my family did growing up, but his dad (aka the ogre in the basement) was not, and is not, so at all. It is so frustrating. This has lead to us making up for a lot of debt at this point in our lives as my husband learns how to delay that consumption driven happiness or make due on something a little less shiny. Now this seems ironic since we are total curb shoppers/thrift hoppers/garage sale moppers, but I think he gets a little SAD (the winter blues) and he has a major case of the retail therapy. So all that being said, this weekend, after having seen a bounced check (which totally ticks me off-I work hard to not have this happen but when someone uses the ATM unexpectedly...)we are on a no-questions-asked cash policy with him, and sticking hard and fast to a Dave Ramsey-esque financial plan to get our butts out of debt. I am all for fun spending, but this is ridiculous. You know we stayed home this weekend-even from church-in order to save a little on gas money (from church 'cause the kids were just too cranky to go anywhere)and it was so nice. Granted I was left working on the house, but Dad and I conquered a major task together (more on this in another post). I love working with my husband and he usually likes being gone all weekend and is too tired to do anything during the week, so this rarely happens. In the meantime, I think we can get this ball rolling. I had strategy pseudo-dreams last night-I didn't sleep until early this morning-so I am all rared up to go. I need a white board so I can keep a nice visual tally and hubby can see just where all his money goes. My farm money? It is always separate, and gets used on strictly farm stuff until summer when I know how much needs to be set aside for the next year. Then it is major purchases we have been putting off money.

Ice Storm

We learned today just how well our house holds heat. We lost power at 8 this morning and didn't regain it until 3. It was torture for Pony Gal because I didn't want to open any doors to let her (or Mr Deeds for that matter) outside, and let the cold in. I ended up just sitting with Superboy most the day, rocking him. When the electric did come on, I had accomplished only one thing-a scarf for my husband's grandmother, and realized I didn't feel like cooking. So, I called Dad to have him pick up dinner from the local bar and let Pony Gal out the door. This kid loves winter. She played with the ice for so long. When she came in her little hands and face were so red. It was so cute to walk in on her all wrapped up in a blanket lying in front of our fireplace.
So, what if our power had not come back on? Well, that is one of my big reasons for wanting to be "off the grid" as far as energy is concerned. But for this go around, we had plans to go to my mom's for as long as it took. She has a furnace (and still had her power) but keeps her wood stove in working order, so we would have been nice and cozy. She also is only 10 minutes away, so it would have been no prob. And, it seems, the roads weren't too bad about the time we would have taken off. For whatever reason our county thinks it is unnecessary to clear our roads, or to even keep an adequate amount of gravel on them, so traction stunk. Luckily we are only 8/10's of a mile from pavement.
Oh, and the chickens hate this weather. They hate it more than usual because Papa H failed to tell me he HAD NOT been checking on their food and water levels regularly. In freezing weather. So, I look outside to see there are no footprints to the coop. (He is all of 50 feet from the coop, while I have small, needy children, and am more like 200 feet from the coop). Anyway, I managed to get Superboy asleep long enough to go rescue the poor ladies. They had no food left and their water was frozen. And he had been feeding and watering them outside, which is just torture when there is snow on the ground. Who wants to walk on that with no shoes? So, it seems I am now in charge of this-not a big deal, but one that I would have loved to have heard about rather than found this way. It had been at least four days since the snow, so they had been waiting at least that long. No wonder they have slowed down tremendously in their laying habits. I wouldn't either if I was starving and cold. Yes, very cold. But, yet again, is a situation that did not have to be. It would have taken all of an hour for our friend/electrician to run electric in the already dug trench to the coop so we could hook up the heating lamps so it wasn't so frickin' freezing in there. We have the trench dug, but didn't know about it until it was filled with snow and ice and impossible to access until spring. So, now, hopefully my husband will be able to help me this weekend as we try to amend the mess Papa H has made by running an extension cord from the garage to the coop. This could have all been avoided had we just purchased the solar lighting/electric system (cheaper) from Harbor Freight I wanted months ago. But, no. Lets be difficult. Right. For those of you who don't know, I have lived on a farm, with chickens since I was about 5. That's well, 20 years, with a couple years lost in town. So, ya think I know what's going on?  I just felt so bad for those birds. It's cruel. And all it would have taken was a legitimate phone call (as so many I get from Papa H are not). Anyway, that's our ice storm story. Nothing too fancy.

I hate bedrest....

But, then again, who has ever said they loved it? I love the fact that it is keeping me pregnant until I start labor naturally, giving me a chance at a "normal" birth, but that is about it. This hypertension is crazy. I am laying down, my bp is 100/60-all the time. I sit up for more than 2 minutes, it jumps back up to 140/90 or more. I have been good thus far. I do cheat a little. Part of the reason I hate bedrest is that so much of my life is in the hands of others right now. The meals part not a big deal. I am easy going, and if someone else wants to feed me, that's fine. But the house maintenance part, errrr. I am VERY picky about my laundry. I labeled the way they should be separated in the laundry room. I am not a lights/darks person. I am a down-to-the-color-group separator. I am also very picky about how Pony Gal's diapers and wipes are washed. This has lead to my potty breaks being potty/laundry breaks. I figure an extra 2 minutes to move things about won't kill me. I also have a fairly large kitchen, which seems to confuse people. Rather than look around and see, "ah, yes, this goes here as there are other items here exactly like it" they guess. And then I am left doing a speed rearrange in the morning while I get my giant glass of water and tea for the couch. And I don't use nasty cleaners. I have one multipurpose I use for everything. This throws everyone off as they look for 409, or bleach or whatever else. I direct them to what is to be used and they look at me like I'm crazy. We haven't died of any filth related disease yet, so I must know what I am doing to some extent. Rather than have to rearrange the closests once this is all through (and have my husband ask me twice a day where his underwear is...) all our clothes are simply getting sorted into laundry baskets on the floor of the bedroom-something I can do laying down. It is also frustrating to have EVERY person who walks through the door ask me what my blood pressure is. It's fine. I am following the rules. I feel like I have freakin' bruises on my hips from laying around like a bum. I hate watching people work around me. I enjoy maintaining my home. But health is important and so long as I need to lie down in order to keep me and baby healthy, I will. It just sucks in the meantime. Oh and Pony Gal is going nuts. She has been so whiny. I did not realize how much we actually do until we couldn't do it. She is going to turn into a little tv addict if this baby doesn't come soon. She asked me the other day if the baby "broked" me. I had to reassure her that he did not, but that mommy just has trouble sometimes. That's what I need. Pony Gal to already dislike her brother because he broke her mom. She is also upset because our dog, Mr. Deeds, is staying at my in-laws until the baby comes so he does not go stir crazy as well. I think letting him out for potty time several times a day would have been against my bedrest rules. But she is not sure he is coming home, so we have to keep reminding her he is just getting a haircut at Grandma's (which he is, conveniently, that just wasn't the reason for his temporary move). It is also frustrating for people to think I am totally helpless. I can still walk. I can still lift. By golly, I can even feed myself and go to the bathroom by myself. I just need to lay down most the day. I can also drive to my dr.s appointsments, all by myself. This seems crazy to my father in law who freaks out everytime I leave and don't check in or ask him to take me. His driving is more dangerous than if I was driving asleep. Like h*ll I am going to put my life, my daughter's life and my unborn son's life in his hands. Um, no. Until the doc says I can't drive, I will drive myself. And if he restricts me, then I will make appointments on Tuesdays and Thursdays when my sister can drive me. I am very picky about who drives me places. I drive a certain way. I am very careful with the lives of those in the car with me, and I am afraid most others I have ridden with are not so. It's only 30 minutes. I sit in the office waiting to see a doc longer than that, though they do make me lay down as soon as I get into the examining room. So that's my rant on bedrest...may this baby come soon!