I'm Being Stalked

I found this evil creature in my cauliflower. That I purchased from the store. Apparently it isn't enough to plague my poor brassicas all summer long, but the winged beasties must follow me around during the winter, as well.
Pony Gal was thrilled to add another insect to her collection, though, so it all worked out. I guess.

What is this bug?

He was easily longer than an inch. He sat on the boat cover for a few days. It looks like it is some sort of beetle, but what, we don't know. Do you?