Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Respect, or Christian Wives, love your husbands!

I was listening to Deace in the afternoon on the way home from running an errand for Dad. An errand that many wives would have not done, as it was not really important (to me) and not urgent. But, coincidentally at the same time Iowa Family and Policy Center was on Deace (I love talk radio, even if I don't necessarily always agree with all the hosts) on WHO talking about the fate of marriages in this country, especially in light of the divorce of Jon and Kate Gosselin and the Governor of Mississippi's recent admission of guilt. One of the key thoughts that I took away from the discussion was something that I have always believed, but sometimes need reminded of. That thought is a COMMANDMENT and PROMISE in the New Testament. Here it is talking about the hierarchy within a covenantal (which is all too rare in today's society; even among Christians) marriage relationship. That hierarchy states that the husband is the head of the household. I agree. That does not mean that my husband can abuse this power, and rather, that he is to love me, no matter what, and from that his power stems. From that is the wife's duty-to RESPECT her husband. That does not mean we always agree. It does mean that I do what I can for him, and honor his authority in tough situations, because God is backing his decision and in the end he is responsible for those decisions, not me. One thing that was noted about J & K's relationship was that it seemed that respect was lacking. This is easy to fall into, as it also seemed that J liked playing the role of an irresponsible teenager, rather than a strong male figure. J was "excited" at the end of the marriage. I think there is little a family can do but to model respect of each other so children grow up seeing the proper roles that are to be played within a marriage. The argument of staying together for the kids is not really valid, but rather staying together because you made a promise to God, of all places to make a promise, is the reason couples should. And if they were to seek Godly counsel, probably could work through most problems. That isn't to say there wouldn't be hurt, that one party or the other shouldn't pay for what they have done, or that it might take a very long time for trust to be regained.But, if it couldn't be done, why would God require it. That is all really a tangent, though. My main thought I was aiming for is that children are not even mentioned until the last part of the talk. Our husbands come before our children. This is a difficult line to deal with, for sure. It is easy to put our kids in front of our men, and may be a major player in the dissolution of J and K's marriage, as it was pretty obvious,and I am sure very easy, to put 8 kids ahead of J in order to try to keep chaos at a minimum. This does not mean I ignore my kids, but it does mean that in situations where the kids are not at an immediate need, my husband gets some priority. He needs to know that he is at the top of my list, especially in his time of need. God promises me that He will make the rest fall into place if I do my best to honor the hierarchy that He has set up. The guy from IFPC outlined this and it was something I felt was worth repeating.


  1. I highly recommend reading through the book called Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggrdige(sp?) Awesome book, a real eye opener at times.

  2. Abby, Amen!! What a great post!!



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