Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, May 18, 2009

Filthy Family

I am a believer in dark forces attacking a person when they make moves toward being closer to God and what He intends for you. That being said, from the first meeting of the small group, things have been going crazy out here with family as of late. I posted earlier about my brother in law being a impossible to deal with. Things have gone even further.
This most recent visit led to my mother in law calling my mother to inform her that she was worried about me having postpartum depression (a year and a half after Superboy, mind you, and yes it can come on that late, but not very often), because the last few times she has visited both the house and the children have been filthy. Um, what? I know it isn't immaculate, like she keeps hers, but I am a normal person, not a perfectionist like the women of Dad's family. Quite opposite of his family, my family is priority, not my house. My mother was incredibly upset, and proceeded to inform my mother in law that I was fine, that she was just out here Friday, and the house and kids were fine and maybe she should worry about her son who likes to be rude to me on a regular basis (which was not my mother's place comment on, either). This didn't go over well, and next thing you know my husband's step dad is calling back to leave rude comments on my mom's answering machine. Seriously. First of all, I have a problem with someone who can't just go to the source when they have a problem. Dad had just talked to them about an hour before and they had SAID NOTHING. Second of all, they were not supposed to be in my house that day. We had chosen to work outside since the weather was cooperating, and so I left a mess, just a mess, not filth, inside while I got some much needed outdoor work done. Even so, they could have asked if something was up. Assuming I am depressed just because the house is messy is ridiculous. I live with small children. I have 3600 square feet of house to take care of. I have ten acres to maintain. I have a llama. I have around 100 chickens. I have a life. OH, and I home school my kids, and make REAL food on a regular basis. Plus, because I do all that I decided to start trying to give myself a break on the weekends, in order to maintain my sanity and observe a Sabbath day. I have priorities, all these things are apparently difficult for my in laws to understand and I am just messed up. Whatever. I can't justify getting upset over dumb stuff all the time. My time is too precious, and my children are too important. Dad is upset. He has talked with his mom, who still puts me in the crazy seat. He has said he supports me in my decision but will continue to have a relationship with her, which is his choice. I just don't think it is prudent to subject myself and the kids to it. And, might I add, all of this crap always seems to come out of nowhere. Never instigated. I just want some peace, which seems to be too difficult to come by here lately.


  1. I'm sorry. I find it odd that MIL didn't talk to Andrew first. It's his house too so wouldn't he be responsible for the "filth" as well? I can maybe understand your BIL being a jerk, but can't believe that his parents left nasty messages to your mom because she defended you! How inappropriate.

  2. oh my. How insane. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!

  3. Soo Sorry!!! I too have a VERY difficult relationship with my In Laws. It is very hard to be nice, or expose your children to people that you TOTALLY disagree with, and who are constantly RUDE, hurtful, and downright nasty. My thoughts are with you!!!

  4. I am SO glad it was my family that was the crazies, not R's. Not that I'm a huge fan of Dr Laura, but that seems like the solution she would advise - if A wants to continue to see his parents (which is understandable), he can do so, but you and the kids don't need to go along if it will just make everyone upset. At a certain point, it makes more sense to protect yourself from further problems than to try to continue an unhealthy relationship.


I welcome hospitable, intelligent discussion. I do not welcome mean-spirited comments. Though they are "moderated" I post pretty much everything, with a very, very small exception-that being spam and those who aim to hurts others intentionally. I'd love hear what you have to say, otherwise!