Thursday, August 7, 2008
Return of the fat girl
Now, my self esteem is not awful, but I also am not blind. I have room to lose quite a chunk of flab. But, with all the chaos as of late, my stress eating has returned. I usually keep it incheck, but here lately I have been fallen back to clearing everyone's plate for them. I start each day trying to be good, but when we are out all the time or I am exhausted from work and family it is difficult to keep up the good sense to stop when I am full-not when the plate is clean. I most likely developed the habit very young. My life was not easy by any means, and food was accessibly and easy to use. I love food flavors, but it makes it easy to not know when to stop. Today is another day, and I am doing well so far, but I fervently hoping for some slowing down in everything so that I feel the need to push it so far. I know Oprah, Dr Phil and all the self help types out there would be digging for deper issues, but honestly, I know its just stress relief. And I know when I am diong it, as does my husband. I don't have time to take up hobbies todetract from eating. I am spent as it is-getting up earlier won't work. I did buy a yoga dvd for kids to start diong with Liv, but thus far motivation has been nowhere to be seen. Too much to do. Cleaned the chicken coop yesterday. The house today. I have laundry, Harold's coming home tonight, the farm delivery is tonight,grapes to make into jelly, Liv's birthday present to work on, garden work is never ending. I think winter will be more welcome than usual just so I have a break.